October 14, 2010
please drive forward
today i worked on booklets to distribute to the church on Sunday about the Daniel fast. it has taken a long time to put together but the more i prepare my mind and heart for the upcoming fast, the more i notice how the Holy Spirit is showing me where my addictions and temptations lie.
for example, today was a long day both mentally, emotionally and physically. not all my days are like this but some days…well some days just aren’t your day, right?
so at the end of my day i am feeling exhausted in all ways, driving home i think “i worked so much and dealt with a lot today….i need something sweet
” and so i drive myself over to a greasy fast food place and order my favorite little treats…mini funnel cakes. i know that these funnel cakes will instantly make me feel good as soon as i take a bite of the crunchy light sweet powdered sugar dusted cake. did i mention the world’s largest dr. pepper to along with them? and some jalapeno poppers and egg rolls for the reverend mr. …yes, i totally ate some of his!
so i’m driving home eating my funnel cake in bliss when i hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit asking me “why do you need this?” and in all my explanations not one of them was good enough. because in reality when i feel spent from a long day, when my mind is fried like a jalapeno popper and my emotions are on edge from being hurt….should i really run to Jack in the Box first? Should my first thought be to instantly gratify my flesh?
i’m thinking……no
i know i should ask God to comfort me first. to bring His rest and peace to my heart and mind and body. i know that in the big things in life that i certainly can’t control i sprint to His side and fall to my knees in prayer. but the more i see how dependent i have allowed myself to become on food to “pick me up” the more i see how desperately i need to give it up.
it may seem so trivial…it’s just a mini funnel cake. a small indulgence. but i believe that each small decision develops a pattern and i don’t want the pattern of my life to become a series of drive-thru windows and a desperate face covered in powdered sugar. i want the pattern of my life to be desperation for more of God and His likeness in me. you can’t pick that up from a fast food joint.
Reverend Mrs. 